I hope one day I will actually come back. I am like water in that I can adapt to any space and environment I'm in. Its good in a way because I can always find someone to hang out with but after so many changes I fear I've lost myself. Maybe one day when I'm older I can be Me, whoever that may be??? I wonder how long my psyche can hold together before I totally lose it. There are somethings that I keep locked away deep in my mind that I hope will never awaken which begs the question, what will happen when those doors open. I know I have enough self control to not hurt anyone but where does that leave me? I know people are made with the information to protect themselves but will I become my greatest enemy, the biggest threat in my life? What will happen to those who truly care about me? Were they better off not knowing me? I think I should just disappear for awhile, not just for me but so I can protect everyone from the pain. I never get close to people because I don't like goodbyes and I know eventually I will have to leave. When I'm really attached to someone and I know the relationship is about to end, I try to push them away before they get hurt. I don't care how much they hate me or how bad it hurts me, as long as they don't miss me or feel lonely. I WILL sacrifice everything to make sure everyone else is happy then I will worry about my own happiness.